A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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Penis

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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