What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Bob Saget

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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Denard Robinson

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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There is an elephant, a zebra, a lion, and a black man. The black man is enjoying his visit to the zoo.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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