How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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i had sex.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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