How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I hate long jokes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops