How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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whats black? the colour

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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