Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How old are you? 7

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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