If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops