Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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gay porn...

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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knock knock whos their a person

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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