What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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WNBA

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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Joke

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A Sloth runs...

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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