Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...