What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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