What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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GONNA

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You're a frog

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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im watching you..

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Why did the plane crash? because there were two towers in front of it.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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