An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

96 there mad at each other instead its 69

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

thumb_up thumb_down +7

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do u call a cripple Biv

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops