Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Penis.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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