Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did nims chinnie? Fins.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats 1 + 1? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops