Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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Sir, your wife is dead

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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1

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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why did a bunch of black kids play in a pile of leafs? to have fun :)

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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Yock

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops