I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Replacement Referees

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meh

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cliché rebecca black joke.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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