why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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