Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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