Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

Vagina cream... end of story

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

Is maynaise an instrument?

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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