A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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for keeps?

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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