What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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