What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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A young baby died.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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