Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's red and has wheels? A red car

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops