Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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