How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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You bumder!

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops