Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

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Racial Equality

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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