Hi

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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A seal walks into a club.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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