Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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