What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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