A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

How old is your mom Dead

Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

Me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...