Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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