What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

are you gay does your mom know

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock Who's There Me

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q: What happened when Sophie broke her leg? A: She was taken to hospital where she was given a cast, and made a full recovery just in time for the Summer.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops