An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

25

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Were can you find a bag of meth?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops