What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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