A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? Hi, my name is Chris.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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PEANIS!

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Q: What is black, white and red all over? A: Interracial sex during the time which the bible has decreed as abhoration.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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