What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Compton

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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