How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

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lipstick pig

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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