I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

Charles Manson is innocent.

one morning i turned on my tv

What did Washington say to California? WC

Yo Mama just died.

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

Iif your reading this ur gay

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

A black guy walks into a basketball court.

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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