What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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