How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

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children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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So this fat guy farts. It smells.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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http://api.solvemedia.com/papi/media?c=2@4kVxPaRsBr6xmKYFf1AWrnUekZ5Qm16e@VS0Tc9Os5q8ENU8bgrSzdX9APTC4lJjowvMEvv53MnevBtoOvXkqvmo6q3GRjryi4pBIcsYECoiZmERhCMm3t7otsPlwyu31uNcluNyw3UKXeBeML2ZQF3X3Wfs3WC6Cdp-lOv-Y0fRdSiML4k2yPqmVJrbT.a9hCr0BoWsRJvq7n7aejLjOmz3h3eZDdwJaN54pFV-QOvO5sQ5wVZlVq-2yi9hMbBbb213AoVTT7vLIhTq0xcBFvtuMdWdS2jn2ActORr3W16MmSEVcgrS6gA;w=300;h=150;fg=ffffff;bg=5d216b

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops