Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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