You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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