How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops