One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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women's rights

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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being sober in a bar fight

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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