Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anthony sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops