did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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how do you win a game try your best

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops