What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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