Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops