If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? hope

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A baby seal walks into a club. :|

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -1

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops