Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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hashtags suck balls

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Knock knock *open*

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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25

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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