There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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