What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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I woke up today

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Women's Rights

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Vaginal secretions

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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