How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

What did the dog say to the house? Roof

how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

Fox News

I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Your mom is not fat!

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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