How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Neil is a reterd.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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Error 37.

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It's all Taggart

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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GONNA

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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