A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Jerry.

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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women's rights

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Women's rights

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops