A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

You mothers so ghetto, you died.

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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